Do you remember the scene in Alice in Wonderland where the Hookah smoking caterpillar unexpectedly sees Alice and asks, "Who Are Y-O-U? Alice stumbles around in thought and decides she doesn't know, stating, "I've changed so much since this morning."
Anytime I make this inquiry with students or clients, the answer is the same. Everyone (100%) agrees with Alice when they watch the film clip. I don't know who I am. I change so much. I cannot determine my identity from my work, my family, my parents, my accomplishments.
Why do we struggle with personal identity? Why do you?
How do we find ourselves?
1. Remember. If you are faith-oriented, how often are you reacquainting yourself with Sovereignty's truth about you? Remember and uplift yourself with Psalm 139:14 and Job 33:4. When you believe and are connected to God's truth, it is easier to choose you than to give into roles that don't suit you.
2. Recruit. If you have trouble believing that you are beautifully made and that Sovereignty has endowed you with gifts and goodness, it's time to figure out why you block this truth. Find a well-suited professional to support you. Therapy helps us move out of our discomfort, and recognize what we've been carrying that is Not Us. Coaching can help us move forward and create accountability.
3. Relax and Review. Slow down to connect with yourself. This allows you to examine your thoughts, your emotions, your environment and your relationships. Reviewing these aspects of your life helps you see where you are out of alignment. Let your body, one of the major vessels through which Sovereign speaks, lets you feel God's peace or the absence of it.
4. Release. Ephesians 4:22 encourages us to "put off the old...." How do you know? Listen to your body. Listen to God's truth. What does not align with the peace you tap into is your old. Release it.
5. Redefine. Ephesians 4:23-24 guides us to "renew our minds, and put on the new...." Once you have released the old ways of living that were not you, once you've learned to slow down and examine yourself, once you incorporate into your memory God's truth, it is time to define yourself anew. So who are you?